When We Chased the Light: A Novel by Emily Bleeker

Author:Emily Bleeker [Bleeker, Emily]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lake Union Publishing
Published: 2024-10-22T00:00:00+00:00

VIVIAN SNOW

Auction

Lot #18

Hand-drawn postcard labeled: Mount Vesuvius

Black ink on cardstock. Mountain range surrounded by a city.

NAPOLI. ITALIA. 03 DEC 1951

Vivian—

I’ve heard from your sister that my concerns are not unfounded. God doesn’t desire you to stay in misery.

Prayerfully yours—A. Trombello

(Translation from Italian)

CHAPTER 18

December 16, 1951

Aria’s Home

Hollywood, California

When Dr. Youngrin shows up for dinner, I seat him next to two empty place settings, explaining that Aria was overtired from our day of cooking. And when Glenn shows up twenty minutes late and half-drunk, I don’t complain, and I pretend not to notice his intoxication, overjoyed he showed up at all.

Without Aria there to engage Dr. Youngrin, and with me fighting nausea through all of dinner, Gracie steps in and charms the guests at the table until her eyelids droop.

“Let’s get you off to bed,” I say. I stand but then wobble, my knees refusing to lock. Youngrin’s hand darts out to stabilize me.

“You should sit,” the doctor orders.

“I’m really all right,” I say, leaning into his support. “Come on, Gracie.”

“I want Daddy to put me to bed.” Gracie pouts and clutches Glenn’s arm. He starts at her touch but doesn’t extract his arm.

Daddy? My head is spinning. I sink into one of the dining room chairs and assess Glenn, worried he might be offended or think I’m behind Gracie’s request, trying to manipulate him. But he looks genuinely touched by her request.

“Me?” he asks Gracie, who is wrapped around his forearm now.

“Uh-huh,” she says. “Please.”

If she’s pretending to like Glenn, it doesn’t show, or she’s a better actress than her mother. I hold my breath as his features soften.

“All right, then. Can’t say no to that. Kiss your mom,” he says, tossing his napkin on his empty plate. Amazed and slightly stunned, I kiss the top of Gracie’s head as she says her goodnights and they go off down the hall. I wish Aria were here to see it and possibly feel some hope about the new baby.

“That’s progress,” I say as Dr. Youngrin hovers over me, checking the pulse at my wrist and looking into my eyes.

“Vivian. You’re not well. I think we should take you to the hospital.”

“What? Hospital? No.” I remove myself from his inspection and start collecting the plates from the table, putting them in a stack. I can’t go to the hospital. Someone will leak news of my pregnancy to the papers before we can tell Zanuck, before I can tell Gracie. “I’m fine. It’s been a long day.”

“You need help, Vivian,” he insists.

“If you want to help me, you’ll tell Glenn how well Aria’s doing. Or tell him I need some support around the house and Aria is strong enough.”

I stand—this time successfully—and take the plates to the kitchen. Dr. Youngrin follows with the glassware. He hovers around me as I clean, like he’s waiting for me to break down.

Glenn returns from Gracie’s room, and I convince the two men to have a drink in the living room, promising I won’t work too hard. As I leave them I hear Dr.

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